Baby Sleep Training: What Actually Works (and What Might Drive You Mad)

Sleep training. Few words inspire as much confusion, debate, or late-night Googling among new parents. With a dizzying array of approaches, from cry-it-out to no-cry and everything in between, it’s no wonder parents feel overwhelmed.

So what does the evidence say? What’s myth, what’s method, and what’s madness? We break it down, with just the right dose of wit and wisdom.

What Is Sleep Training, Really?

At its heart, sleep training is about helping your baby learn to fall asleep (and stay asleep) without external assistance like rocking, feeding, or elaborate acrobatics involving yoga balls and drives down the highway. It’s not one-size-fits-all. Nor is it a cruel endurance test.

The idea is to give your baby the space to develop self-soothing skills while still responding to their developmental needs. The methods differ, but the goal is the same: better sleep for everyone involved.

The Big Four Methods (And What They Involve)

1. Cry It Out (CIO) / Extinction

Yes, it’s as dramatic as it sounds. The classic Ferber or Weissbluth approach involves putting your baby to bed awake, leaving the room, and not returning until morning. The idea is that your baby will learn that crying doesn't result in intervention, and will eventually soothe themselves to sleep.

What the science says:
It can be effective. A 2012 study in Pediatrics found that children sleep-trained using controlled crying methods had no adverse emotional or behavioural effects at age 6. But it's tough emotionally for parents, especially if your baby has a set of lungs that rivals Pavarotti.

2. Ferber Method / Graduated Extinction

This is a slightly gentler cousin of CIO. You still allow crying but check in at timed intervals that gradually increase (e.g., 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes…).

Pros:

• Encourages independence

• Easier on parents emotionally than full CIO

Cons:

• Can still be emotionally tough

• Requires a timer, consistency, and nerves of steel

3. Pick Up / Put Down

Popularised by Tracy Hogg (The Baby Whisperer), this method involves picking up your baby when they cry and putting them down once they calm...over and over and over.

This is not for the faint of heart.
It can take hours, multiple nights in a row. But for some babies, it provides reassurance without full dependence.

4. No Tears / Chair Method / Camping Out

This is the gentlest route, ideal for those who can’t stomach hearing their baby cry. You gradually reduce your involvement night by night (e.g., from holding to sitting nearby to leaving the room).

Is it slower? Yes.
Is it more sustainable for some families? Also yes.

Does Sleep Training “Work”?

Yes...and no. Many babies can learn to sleep independently with training. But success hinges on:

• Timing: Sleep training before 4 months isn’t recommended.

• Consistency: Flip-flopping between methods is a fast track to frustration.

• Parental Readiness: You have to believe in the method you’re using.

Also, remember: some babies just need more time. And that’s not a failure, it’s biology.

What About Breastfeeding?

Contrary to popular belief, sleep training doesn’t mean night weaning, especially for younger babies who still need night feeds. You can absolutely sleep-train and continue to nurse at night if needed. The key is separating feeding from falling asleep. A full feed, then a quiet bedtime routine, then into the crib awake; that’s the goal.

And What About Sleep Aids?

Sleep environments matter. A dark, cool room. A predictable routine. And yes...sound.

Using consistent sleep sounds like white noise, shushing, or lullabies can be incredibly effective when used alongside a sleep training method. The key is consistency. Babies learn through association; if a particular sound always plays at bedtime, it becomes part of the sleep cue.

(And if you’re wondering if there’s a beautifully designed device that lets you layer those sounds at once…well, there might just be ;) Check out our award-winning Shushiie sound machine here).

The Bottom Line

There is no one perfect method. Some babies thrive with CIO. Others need a gentler approach. And some parents need sleep more than they need a rigid plan.

Whatever you choose, remember:

• You’re not spoiling your baby by comforting them.

• You’re not failing them by setting boundaries.

• And you’re not alone; every parent is making it up as they go.